I don’t remember
But it must have felt safe and warm
When, for the first time, she had held me close
Cajoling and calming a wailing new-born I
I must have felt her chest close to me
Falling, and rising
In anxiety, and excitement
In love, and an unconditional belonging
As i clung to her ferociously
For love, for dear life
Years have passed since
I’m out in the wild
Caught up in the race
But once in a while,
If I’d stop
If I could stop
I would think
How I wish
I were back to being the lil’ one
On my mama’s lap
When every day
Was my mama’s day
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!
An excerpt from my book, Unravelling, releasing soon.
“Who are you?”
“Are you sure you are Aadit?”
“What are you doing?”
I am sitting here in silence; breathing, meditating.
“Are you sure You are the one breathing?”
Yes I am.
“Is your breath under your control – are you initiating it, stopping it, making sure it’s reaching where it needs to?”
No. I don’t control it.
“So the breath comes and goes without you doing anything about it”
“Are the functions of most of your organs – heart, kidney, brain, liver and others under your control?”
“Can you call your body yours if you don’t even have control over its organs and parts?”
“What is under your control: if not your breath, not your organs, not even the body that you call yours?”
My thoughts and actions.
“Are your thoughts and actions a part of your body?”
No. They are a part of Me.
“Does that mean You are different from your body?”
“Are the results of your thoughts and actions under your control?”
“Is anything under your control?”
“Who are you then when nothing is in your control?”
A doer. An observer.
You know it all,
And yet you can’t help
Over and over again
Round and round
Tll the head spins
And the thoughts, laser like,
Bore a hole
In your know-it-all
Hole of a head
It’s good to have a vision in life. About life. But then the vision must trickle down to goals. The goals must be further divided into to subgoals, and the subgoals into steps. More importantly, small, measurable steps.
These steps must be then adhered to. Sounds simple?
In fact, it’s the steps that are most difficult part.
Lofty vision and goals are the simplest of all, for who can’t build castles in the air? The steps are where we all go astray. It’s where we get lost and have intermittent bouts of frustrating realizations – that we’re pretty much where we were eons ago.
You require two qualities to hand hold you through the steps, and these attributes are what make this phase so arduous: Willpower and Discipline!
If you inculcate those qualities somehow, and sustain for a period of time… one step at a time, you get closer and closer to your goal(s).
So what’s the difference between vision, goals, willpower and discipline?
You have a vision for your life – an overarching desire of how your life should be. You break that into goals – the things that help define your vision. The goals can be broken into subgoals, and the subgoals can be further reduced to steps.
So Vision => Goals A B C => Sub Goals (A.1, A.2) => Measurable steps (A.1.i, A.1.ii…) – precisely action and time defined.
The fuel for goal realization:
- Willpower: Conquering yourself, stepping out of the comfort zone, pushing through, and laying bare the duplicity and comfort of false excuses. Willpower helps you overcome your own state of inertia. It’s what makes you take the first step.
- Discipline: the quality required to sustain the next step. And the next, And on and on. Over and over again.
The timelines of Steps need to be strictly defined and followed. Else the goals fall. The vision crumbles. And you become just another day-dreaming sucker like the most of us!
Have you ever experienced waiting forever for something to happen, for someone to revert, for things to get done? How do you deal with the waiting period?
A forever wait:
Like an anticipation on hold
Expectations to the brim
Frustrations and anxiety
On the boil
Since years I’ve been holding this question to myself: is it wrong to generate expectations in others, only not to fulfill them, or not bringing about a ‘closure’ to them?
Is it even wrong to make people wait (expectantly)? Is that disrespect? Arrogance?
So how do we cope up with the waiting scenario: when we’re waiting forever on something to happen? A couple of approaches to consider:
- Relax: You’ve set a ball rolling. Let it free. If it be so, it shall come back to you. No point checking on it again and again.
- Keep rolling different balls. One of those would come back to you?
- Do not be constricted. Open yourself to newer things, newer ideas. What is the new option you’ve thought of?
- Do not fight the situation or question. Accept it.
- Breathe! It’s certainly not the end of the world! Keep rollin’.
- And Finally: Call it Quits! You need not be the one to be on edge forever. Take the decision, accept and move on. to the next step. You will realize how simple life becomes.
All of this wouldn’t certainly doesn’t apply to all the situations. If you’re waiting for a ‘yes’ from someone you love for instance, you don’t want to set different balls rolling, and think of options. But for sure, even if it doesn’t work out, it wouldn’t certainly be the end of the world, would it?
New vistas shall open.
Breathe and Accept!
I am the undefined
I am the unknown
I am the limitless
I am the unboundI am what you see
I am what you do not
I am the core of me
I am the core of thee
Feeling low is one among the repertoire of emotional expressions that we possess. And we must not shun it. We should learn to revel in it, and at times, even exploit it productively. We do know of beautiful sad songs, right? Those wonderfully touching plots and poems? I bet people might not have composed them in happier states of mind.
So well, you do get a little low at times, and that’s life, and that’s natural. But then after permitting yourself the indulgence, you pick up the shreds, project a castle in the air and start making your way towards it; step by step.
Step by step. Holding yourself. Yeah, that’s more like it!