Imperfections & The Institution of Marriage

Human beings are inherently imperfect animals. Downright, utterly, imperfect.

Our forefathers in the past knew this  and devised a mechanism, and thus an institution came to being – of marriage. This one institution was supposed to curb insecurities, jealousies, possessiveness, sexual greed and predatory behavior, etc., introduce a clear cut mechanism of identifying which female belonged to which male (male, being the dominant one in humans) and set up boundaries and definitions of decent community behavior.

This also helped prevent exploitation of women to some extent, though that must not have been the primary . The primary purpose was to to curb those violent and destructive tendencies of men and a complete breakdown and stalemate of communities, over women. The combined energy and efforts, instead of being squandered thus, be better utilized in hunting and garnering food for the populace which required a combined, community effort.

However our ancestors overlooked the fact that human beings would still remain imperfect. While many destructive traits have been curbed substantially and definitions of man-woman relationships and body-ownerships have been adequately established (for brains, most of the times, is not even in control of the host), there remain many a imperfections which hinder sustainability of a successful marriage.

Two imperfects don’t make a perfect. Hence, in a marital arrangement, when one imperfect collides with the other, as is the case in any given marriage, fights erupt and tensions simmer.

Imagine two rocks rubbing against each other and sparks emanating. If sparks are experienced over an extended period of time, the rocks wear themselves out, lose their sheen, and become shadowy selves of their initial beings. Sometimes the sparks set the whole forest afire. Abstract imperfections like self respect, , and now, contemporarily, expectations and a constant lack of time, froth out of the container of an arrangement, leaving the glass half empty and sometimes violently broken.

Questions arise on the whole institution, and practicality then, of marriage. In turn, the present generation humans are bound to raise questions on the intelligence of our ancestors who set this mechanism up in the first place. But we forget that our ancestors too were humans, and hence imperfect.

Our ancestors, however, seemed to have a strong foresight – that one day their posterity, leave aside expressing gratitude, will cast aspersions and raise questions on the early efforts to salvage imperfections. Hence they devised another rule. “Thou shalt have children only post thy marriage”.

That now takes care of a majority of broken glass situations. The parents determinedly get together, and in spite of their imperfections, douse the continuous emanating sparks – even to the extent of wearing themselves out, and adapt, to provide a perfect loving platform for their resultants – hoping to raise, well, perfect children, …er…, humans!

Disclaimer: for fear of being a constant target of flying frying pans, and of being constantly pestered upon the ‘state of my marriage’ by friends and well-wishers, I would like to confess to one and all – concerned and non – that I am an ardent fan of our forefathers. Hope this answers it all, puts me clear and bare, and lays all speculations to rest.